UMW: University of Mostly Whites


Apply for:
  • Share This Show

Three versions to choose from: the Original Version, a Clean Version, and a Competition Version!

When a small liberal arts college in a rural town recruits minorities in an effort to increase diversity, the forced melting pot that transpires leads to confusion across campus. After discovering her boyfriend has been cheating on her with an Asian student, a co-ed takes to YouTube, venting her anger in a racist rant. 12 lives intersect as the video goes viral and students’ personal issues become entwined with their own prejudices. Based on real experiences from actual college students, UMW: University of Mostly Whites is an equally hilarious and appalling look at the absurd ways in which we handle our own insecurities.

For a clean version, click here.

For the competition version, click here.


It’s Finals Week at UMW. Jessica posts an “anti-Asian rant” on YouTube, which goes viral. Regina, an African-American reporter for the school newspaper, seizes the opportunity. Her ruthless attempts to get a “red meat” story startle her Latina friend Claudia, who reveals that she has a crush on Brian, Jessica’s sexy boyfriend. Meanwhile, Kitty, an attractive Japanese girl, persuades Lauren, a shy Chinese girl, to take one of her finals, since monitors can’t tell Asian people apart. Daniella, a chubby misfit, drinks and watches Jessica’s video with Greg, her gay friend who doesn’t act gay enough for her taste. Greg is intrigued by Willy, a black jock and scholar. Gun Woo, a lively Korean kid, is suddenly hot for Jessica, which concerns Willy. Gun plans to make a music video to impress her, and solicits Willy to help him act “more black.” A new Girl wearing a hijab and headphones arouses everyone’s suspicions. Jessica confronts Brian, accusing him of sleeping with Kitty. Regina interviews Kitty but doesn’t get the response she craves. Daniella pursues Wade, a druggie and loner who hints at an act of violence. Willy asks Brian why the white guys are afraid of him. Someone named Gizmo texts Claudia, carefully monitoring her behavior. Regina interviews Gun Woo, but to her dismay, he’s in hot pursuit of Jessica. She dismisses Willy as a “gansta” from Oakland. Greg follows Willy into the men’s room. Wade connects with Jessica via Facebook and compliments her on her video rant. She unfriends him when he repeats his threat. Kitty dresses Lauren up and teaches her to act “American” so she can pass for her. Willy has a crush on Claudia, but she’s cold to him. He attempts to talk sense to Jessica, whose life is falling apart. Brian has sex with Kitty, who humiliates him. He and Jessica both receive death threats via Twitter. Regina interviews Lauren, who confuses her by saying that “fat girls” are racist. Daniella insists on telling Greg about a sexual episode with Wade, but her desperation angers him. Greg asks Gun how he could be attracted to Jessica after her rant. Gun suddenly drops his “act,” and Greg is concerned. Across campus, someone is putting up “fat” pictures of Jessica from high school. Jessica posts an apology video for her rant, then threatens whoever’s putting up the pictures. To get back at Kitty, Brian lies to Willy, saying she called him the “N word.” Regina interviews Jessica, who reveals that she was attacked on campus. She promises to divulge the full details if Regina agrees not to write the story until she finds out who’s behind the pictures.

It’s the last day of school. Daniella tells Willy that Greg has the hots for him— then propositions him. Willy’s not interested. Again, he approaches Claudia, but she’s with Regina, who actively avoids Willy. Willy sees Kitty hanging the pictures of Jessica. She flirts with him, but he dismisses her. Kitty tells Jessica that she had sex with Brian to get back at her for posting the video. Claudia finally tells Willy she’s been avoiding him because she’s afraid of what her brother Gizmo would do if he found out she was seeing a black guy. She’s yielding to Willy’s charms when Brian texts her and asks to meet up. She runs off. Brian apologizes to Willy for lying about Kitty, but Willy is furious. In the bathroom, he suspects Greg of “eyeballin’” him and attacks him. Brian, stung by Willy’s rebuke, invites Claudia to his room. Regina’s article is finally published, and she betrays Jessica by writing about the attack. Kitty tells Jessica that she may have to return to Japan because Lauren failed the test. Lauren approaches and reveals that Kitty has been putting up the pictures. Jessica chokes Kitty and threatens further retaliation. Regina wants Greg to tell her how he received the bruises, but he mocks her pretensions. Claudia’s mind is on Willy, even when she’s with Brian. Willy tells Gun that he did something bad, and Gun reveals that he almost did, too. Wade shows Daniella something in his backpack and tells her to go home. Daniella apologizes to Greg for talking to Willy, but he’s through with her. Lauren overcomes her fear of fat girls and tries to befriend Daniella. Brian complains about the increasing number of minorities to Wade, who mocks him, as does Daniella when he approaches her. Willy and Claudia agree to get together over the summer. Regina sees that Willy’s hand is injured and confronts him. They argue, and when he grabs her, she screams. Then she notices that the Girl left her bookbag on the table. She shouts, “There’s a bomb in that bag,” and pandemonium breaks loose.


A sharp, social satire about cultural tensions and college life.

–Linfield News


Jessica – A pretty and brash white girl who has recently lost a lot of weight.

Gun Woo – A funny, upbeat Korean guy who attempts to act “black” and harbors deep resentments.

Lauren – A shy, friendless, and mysterious Chinese girl who makes no effort to assimilate.

Kitty – A hip, sassy, and sexually provocative Japanese girl who has aggressively assimilated.

Willy – A bright, tender, introspective African-American guy capable of rage.

Claudia – A young, naïve Latin girl struggling to escape the domination and prejudices of her family.

Daniella – A troubled, overweight white girl with drug and alcohol problem, desperately trying to fit in.

Brian – A white jock who can “get any girl” he wants, but the minorities on campus anger and confuse him.

Regina – A ruthlessly ambitious African-American reporter who avoids black people.

Greg – A “straight-acting” and secretive gay white guy who resents the immaturity he finds among his fellow students.

Wade – A white loner and supplier of drugs who loathes the entire student population.

Girl – A girl of undetermined ethnicity who wears a hijab and headphones and doesn’t speak to anyone.

Note: The entries above describe the characters’ public personae, which, in most cases, mask their insecurities and secrets, which are indirectly suggested and rarely discussed.

Setting: The action of the play takes place over a few weeks in late spring, in the hallways, classrooms, dorm rooms, conference rooms, library, student union, dining hall, and outdoor benches on the campus of a small liberal arts university, a few hours from the nearest city, anywhere in the United States.

Performance Royalties for AMATEUR and EDUCATIONAL Groups, please fill out an application for your personalized quote. 

Performance Royalties for PROFESSIONAL Theaters will be quoted as a box office percentage, with a minimum guarantee based on ticket prices and theater particulars. Please fill out an application for your personalized quote.

Authorized Materials must be purchased from Stage Rights as a part of your licensing agreement (see Materials). 

Billing responsibilities, pertinent copyright information, and playwrights' biographies are available in the show rider that comes with your license agreement.

Authorized Materials must be purchased from Stage Rights as a part of your licensing agreement. Your materials will be sent to you digitally by your Licensing Representative. 

The Authorized Materials/Production Package for UMW: University of Mostly Whites are all fulfilled digitally and consist of: 

Acting Edition

Stage Manager Script