Secrets of Wildest Neverland


Secrets of Wildest Neverland
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What goes on in Neverland when no one is looking? The Secrets of Wildest Neverland is what happens when the mermaids, Smee, and some surly crocodiles have their say. Throw in Dracula and Tinkerbell and you have a hilariously irreverent look at the world of Peter Pan and the parts of Neverland nobody ever talks about.

Ways of Doing the Play
Any three of the plays make a 30-minute presentation. The final play must be Adieu.
Any four of the plays will make a 40-minute presentation. The final play must be Adieu.
All eight of the plays make a full-length with a 10- or 15-minute intermission. Running time: one hour and 30 minutes.
However presented, the play title remains The Secrets of Wildest Neverland.


Act I

The Darlings
Mr. and Mrs. Darling are at a loss with what happened to their dear daughter Wendy. She’s vanished into thin air. A detective and a couple of jocular SWAT agents drop by to assist in the search. The Detective, realizing what happened, lets the Darlings know that she went away with a young man named Peter who has a predilection for girls named “Wendy.” No harm comes to them. They just disappear for a while and return unscathed and much better behaved.

Peter Pan returns from a row with the dreaded Captain Hook and a whole host of adventures in Neverland. He’s excited to talk about his adventures, but Tinkerbell is having none of it. She’s tired of his recklessly naïve behavior and odd habit of ingesting poison from all kinds of villains.

They argue and she knocks Pan off his egotistical little pedestal by bringing Harry Potter into the discussion. Wendy (from Des Moines) breaks up the tiff with an offering of cake… which turns out to be poisoned. Tinkerbell begs the audience to clap and bring Peter back to life. It works, and their love/hate relationship is allowed to continue.

The Crocodiles
Gleek and Borg are just hanging out at the beach during lunch. Borg is sick of having nothing but pirate to eat. The reptiles talk literature and all the delicious Shakespeare characters they would love to eat.

Plapp arrives to give a commencement speech at the Crocodile Community College. His work has inspired misunderstood crocs everywhere. Lamenting their treatment in popular culture, Plapp announces his latest project— a re-working of the Peter Pan tale, relegating him to minor character status. The play ends with a wedding between a Fleep, a croc, and another minor character Jimmy (Hook).

The Lost Boys
The Lost Boys (Oliver, Jacob, George, Harry, Charles, and Jack, as played by women) give the audience a bit of background on their characters. Wendy (from Albuquerque) harangues Peter Pan (played by a woman) for not being comfortable with the Lost Boys being Lost Girls, cross-gender casting being a staple of the English Theater.

Jukes, a pirate, enters, unsure of Hook’s whereabouts, but the show can’t go on without a Captain Hook. Peter takes matters into his own hands with a dramatic interpretation of the death scene from Hamlet.

Act II

The Application

Dracula and the Scarecrow from OZ commiserate over Scarecrow’s application for vampire status. He does not want his straw brains to rot. The only sticking point into this transformation is the blood.

Hook pops in and complains to his old pal Dracula about the boredom associated with replaying the Peter Pan tale over and over again. If only they could romp together like the good old days. Dracula starts to turn Hook, but plans change when Lucy enters and makes a meal of the pirate.

Smee and Wendy
Wendy and Smee are studying together. She asks him about the finer points of being a murderous pirate. Wendy dishes about her troubles with Peter. Smee reveals he is actually the son of Captain Hook and a dolphin. Intrigued, she decides to take a chance on him, and they walk off together into a very theatrical sunset.

Splish Splash
Salmonella, Halibeth, and Tina Tuna, all mermaids, are just having some fun in the sun on the set of their show. They give a little insight into their lives and the raw deal mermaids get in Neverland.

A wayward sailor is a special guest on the show.

A war of words between Pan and Hook ensues until Pan utters the dreaded name “Macbeth” on stage, bringing the proceedings to a screeching halt. Hook makes Pan take part in a ritual to break the curse of the dreaded “M” word. Exhausted with their long history as frenemies, they decide to call a truce.



The Darlings
Mr. Darling – Male; clueless father.
Mrs. Darling – Female; concerned mother.
Detective – Male; a tough-guy.
Nana – Female; a dog.
Swat Team Member #1 ­– Female: a cop with attitude.
Swat Team Member #2 – Male; no too bright.

Peter Pan – Female; has some attitude.
Tinker Bell – Female; seen it all.
Wendy – Female; rides a Harley, don’t mess with her.

Pirate (Cecco) – Male; a pirate of no importance.
Gleek – Male; a crocodile; romantic.
Borg – F/M; a crocodile; a big reader.
Fleep – Female; a crocodile bride.
Plapp – Female; a literary critic.
Crocodile #4 – F/M; bit part.
Crocodile #5 – F/M; bit part.
Hook – Male; pirate captain.
Dan Pan – Male; a minister.

The Lost Boys
Oliver – Female; a Lost Boy played by a Lost Girl.
Harry – Female; a Lost Boy played by a Lost Girl.
Jack – Female; a Lost Boy played by a Lost Girl.
Jacob – Female; a Lost Boy played by a Lost Girl.
George – Female; a Lost Boy played by a Lost Girl.
Charles –Female; a Lost Boy played by a Lost Girl.
Peter Pan – Female; surely you know.
Wendy – Female; not the same actress; practical.
Jukes – Male; a nasty pirate.

The Application
The Scarecrow of OZ – Male; obviously an intelligent fellow.
Count Dracula – Female; a smooth operator.
Captain Hook – Male; a very theatrical fellow.
Lucy – Female; not someone you’d trust.
Three Vampires – Females; dancers.

Smee and Wendy
Smee – Male; a friendly pirate.
Wendy – Female; a new one.

By the Sea
Salmonella – Female; a happy mermaid.
Halibeth – Female; a cheerful mermaid.
Tina Tuna – Female; a charming mermaid.
Sailor (Sean) – Male; a gentlemanly sailor.

Captain Hook – Male; a new one.
Peter Pan – Female; a new one.
Stagehand – F/M.

Performance Royalties for AMATEUR and EDUCATIONAL Groups, please fill out an application for your personalized quote.

Performance Royalties for PROFESSIONAL Theaters will be quoted as a box office percentage, with a minimum guarantee based on ticket prices and theater particulars. Please fill out an application for your personalized quote.

Authorized Materials must be purchased from Stage Rights as a part of your licensing agreement (see Materials).

Billing responsibilities, pertinent copyright information, and playwrights' biographies are available in the show rider that comes with your license agreement.

Authorized Materials must be purchased from Stage Rights as a part of your licensing agreement. Your materials will be sent to you digitally by your Licensing Representative.

The Authorized Materials/Production Package for Secrets of Wildest Neverland are all fulfilled digitally and consist of:

Acting Edition

Stage Manager Script