Skip Sinwell, Chief Reporter for the Campus Chronicles at Hi-Mount School, delivers the morning announcements. The top story: two staff members have not shown up for four days—the beloved Lunch Lady Linda and the mysterious school janitor, Mr. Humphrey. In another stunning turn of events, the drama teacher, Ms. McGery, has made a move to the custodial department. Ms. McGery assures Skip this is a lateral move to janitor and reminds everyone to make the best of each situation.

Meanwhile Foster, a precocious Drama Club member who fancies herself an amateur sleuth, is tasked with taking the recently expired classroom goldfish down to Custodia for disposal. She sends a video message to her Drama Club friends relaying her excitement at finally getting to visit Custodia. She’s heard so many stories, but is also anxious to see Ms. McGery again and “get the dirt” on the new job. Carrie sends a response video message warning Foster to be careful. In fact, the last time she saw Lunch Lady Linda, she was heading straight for Custodia!

Later that night, Foster sends another video message to the Drama Club. Breathlessly, she relays that Custodia is nothing like she expected. There was no Ms. McGery to be found, and the entire place was dark and musty. But that’s not the scariest part, she says, for in a dark corner of Custodia, she found a wallet that belonged to Mr. Humphrey, the janitor. In it was a piece of paper that reads “I promise I will always keep you safe. I will watch over you until you die. You will never be far from my sight. We will always share the ties that bind.” Foster’s overactive imagination kicks in, and she makes a bold prediction: Mr. Humphrey kidnapped Lunch Lady Linda and is holding her captive in the tunnels below Custodia. She charges the Drama Club with the task of finding Lunch Lady Linda.

The resident techie of the Drama Club chimes in that he has developed a new app that holds all videos confidentially and can only be accessed by answering Drama Club trivia. He suggests moving to that platform.

Over the next few days, videos pour in from various students with a barrage of clues and strange stories: Terry, on her own investigation of Custodia, found a hairnet, apron, plastic gloves, and a key. Carter was at the jewelry store at the mall, and noticed a ring box with Mr. Humprhey’s name on it. Maddox heard the lunch ladies whispering. Gloria found a closet full of balloons—though, to be fair, it is her birthday.

Skip Sinwell has caught wind of the Drama Club’s investigation. He is getting anxious that the Drama Club is overstepping by taking on this story without the use of a “real reporter” like him. He vows to begin his own investigation to discover what happened to Lunch Lady Linda and Mr. Humphrey. Techie comes back on and notifies the Drama Club that they’ve increased security on the app.

Meanwhile, Clara thinks the librarian is in on it because she heard her talking about Mr. Humprhey in hushed tones. Danny found a mysterious piece of music in his band folder. Sophie thinks Mr. Humphrey wasn’t all that bad. Carol heard her dance instructor talking about how good of a dancer Mr. Humprhey is. Lucy thinks that her church is holding a funeral for Mr. Humprhey and Lunch Lady Linda. What could it all mean?

Foster once again returns to the app to let the Drama Club know they all did great work and she has figured out the mystery: Mr. Humphrey has kidnapped Lunch Lady Linda so that he can impersonate her and serve mercury-filled fish in the cafetorium, to clear out the school so that he can use the building for his Lord of the Rings Themed Ballroom Dancing competition. Dejected and realizing she’s wrong, Foster thinks about giving up sleuthing for good.

Skip Sinwell addresses the school once more over morning announcements claiming that he has come up with the answer to the mystery behind the disappearances. But before he’s able to reveal his answer, a news bulletin is put in front of him: “Would the Drama Club please report to Custodia?”

In Custodia, a hooded figure addresses the Drama Club. It’s Ms. McGery! She chastises them for jumping to conclusions and informs them that, in fact, they’ve been wrong this whole time. Mr. Humphrey didn’t kidnap Lunch Lady Linda. They are actually getting married!

The next day, during morning announcements, Skip Sinwell relays the story of Mr. Humphrey and Lunch Lady Linda’s wedding in the cafetorium, in front of the whole school. Additionally, he thanks the Drama Club: “Sometimes a flair for the dramatic is needed, and this reporter is grateful to the Drama Club for sending me on my greatest investigative inquiry to date, and keeping us all on our toes.”

Our story ends with a rousing flash mob danced by the entire company at the wedding of Mr. Humphrey and Lunch Lady Linda; a newfound sense of community surging between them.