Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage!
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Let Miss Abigail take you back to a simpler time, before booty calls and speed-dating, back when the divorce rate wasn’t 50% and when "fidelity" was more than an investment firm! It’s Loveline meets Dr. Ruth as Miss Abigail shares her vast knowledge of every piece of relationship literature known to mankind. The audience participates in this hilarious variety show, and Miss Abigail’s strapping young assistant Paco is there to provide for her every need. This smash Off-Broadway hit will keep you laughing all night long – that’s the Miss Abigail guarantee!


SYNOPSIS


The show opens to the set of a warm, inviting living room. Welcome to Miss Abigail’s relationship talk show. Everyone in the audience has a pink “ASK MISS ABIGAIL!” card that says, “Got a question about dating, mating or marriage? Need some relationship advice? Got a question that you’re embarrassed to ask your doctor? Ask Miss Abigail instead!” Paco, Abigail’s strapping assistant, readies the stage for her arrival.  

Miss Abigail enters to her musical theme and informs the audience that, “over the next hour and eighteen minutes, I’ll teach you all my secret recipes for romance.” Her knowledge spawns from all of the relationship and self help books she “devoured” from her Grandmother. Plus, she has walked the walk; for twenty-five years she had a perfect marriage, then her husband passed away.

Miss Abigail directs her first tid-bit of priceless advice to the audience: “Ask The Looking Glass.” Remember it is important to look your best and maintain your personal hygiene! She hands out “Ask the Looking Glass” cards to each member of the audience and asks them to put it somewhere they can see it every day. She takes the audience through some of the common wardrobe malfunctions associated with loneliness, like plumbers bottom, for instance.

As Abigail explains, the most attractive aspect of any person is their confidence. It becomes clear at this point that Paco is very interested in Miss A as he assists her. He seems to have developed a bit of a crush in the time they have been working together.

In this contemporary age there are so many ways to meet someone! Once you meet someone it is important to know how to flirt. Miss A demonstrates some of her tried and true flirtation techniques like “this stool is free,” and “Lick Lip,” then she brings some audience members up onstage to try it out.

Next step: dating. Miss Abigail covers everything from who should ask, where to go, and even what to talk about. Then she goes through the ins and outs of the first kiss. Paco, ever enthralled, gets jealous when she asks an audience member to help her while he leaves for a moment.

A few audience members join Miss Abigail onstage to play “Love, Lust, or Stalking?” This is a game where she describes several scenarios and the contestants have to decide which of the three categories it is best represented by.

Up next: weddings and marriage. She gives several pointers on how to maintain a healthy, long-lasting marriage.

The final bit of relationship advice is, yes you guessed it: Sex. Paco shows a montage of his favorite clips from film history in order to give the audience some sexual education.

After a few more lessons in love, Paco is overwhelmed by his emotions. He confronts Miss Abigail and asks her to move on from her late husband. He makes her favorite kind of sandwich in his very unique way, and Abigail seems to be interested at last in the love that was right in front of her.

QUOTE


PURE FUN! You can’t help but fall instantly in love with Miss Abigail's Guide!

–Entertainment Weekly


Characters:

Miss Abigail:  The most sought-after relationship expert to the stars (think Dr. Ruth meets Emily Post).

Paco:  Her sexy assistant 

Setting: A warm & inviting living room: the set of Miss Abigail’s talk show

Ken Davenport is a Tony Award-winning Broadway producer and writer. Producing credits include Once on This Island (Tony Award), Kinky Boots (Tony Award), Groundhog Day (Tony nomination), The Play That Goes WrongSpring Awakening (Tony nomination), It's Only a PlayMacbethGodspell, and many others. He created and wrote three Off-Broadway shows including The Awesome 80s PromMy First Time and Miss Abigail's Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage, co-conceived and produced Altar Boyz and created the award-winning web series, "The Bunny Hole." His blog and podcast, The Producer's Perspective, has been featured in Vanity FairThe New York TimesNew York magazine, Forbes and others. Ken is also the Executive Producer for North America for Andrew Lloyd Webber's Really Useful Group. He created the board game Be a Broadway Star, a top-selling Broadway gift on Amazon.com, and is an avid golfer who dreams about playing Augusta National. For more, visit TheProducersPerspective.com or DavenportTheatrical.com

Sarah Saltzberg played Logainne Schwartzandgrubenairre for two years in The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee on Broadway. She created and developed her character in C-R-E-P-U-S-C-U-L-E (upon which Spelling Bee is based), which she co-produced at the Theatorium in NYC. She most recently appeared in Fat Camp (NYMF), and has appeared Off-Broadway in Junie B. Jones (Lortel Theatre), her one-woman show Dear Diary (Ars Nova), as well as throughout NYC in long-form improv comedy with the Upright Citizens Brigade. Sarah can be seen in the late-night Broadway-themed improv show Don't Quit Your Night Job, which she co-created and co-produces (www.dontquitnyc.com). She is also a co-artistic director of Stage 13, a theatre/production company dedicated to cultivating new and original stage, web, and film pieces (www.stage-13.com).

Performance Royalties for AMATEUR and EDUCATIONAL Groups begin at $100.00 per performance for theaters under 150 seats, and rise depending on ticket prices and theater particulars. Please fill out an application for your personalized quote. 
 
Performance Royalties for PROFESSIONAL Theaters will be quoted as a box office percentage, with a minimum guarantee based on ticket prices and theater particulars. Please fill out an application for your personalized quote. 
                    
An Authorized Materials/Rehearsal Package must be purchased from Stage Rights as a part of your licensing agreement (see Materials).
                                                 
Billing responsibilities, pertinent copyright information, and playwrights' biographies are available in the show rider that comes with your license agreement.

“Date night done right.” –Harper’s Bazaar

“You cant help but fall instantly in love with Miss Abigail.” –Entertainment Weekly. 

“90 minutes of retro funny. A lighthearted amusing comedy.” –NorthJersey.com

“A funny new play. A nifty incarnation” –TheatreMania 

“A good time. Guide Manages to send you home chatting about all of that silly dating advice.” –Variety

“An evening unlike any other. I never stopped laughing” –Pat’s Opinionated View

“A fun night out.” –Motherhood Later…Than Sooner.  

“Hilarious, fun and, has a lot of heart. Will have you laughing off your chair” –Sitcoms Online

An Authorized Materials/Rehearsal Package must be purchased from Stage Rights as a part of your licensing agreement. Your materials will be sent to you two months prior to your opening date, unless other arrangements have been made in advance with your Stage Rights Licensing Representative.
 
The Authorized Materials/Rehearsal Package for Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, and Marriage consists of:
10 Production Scripts / $130.00 (shipping included)
 
Production Scripts for Plays are professionally printed and bound with a full-color cover.
 
You will have the option to purchase additional Production Scripts at a discounted rate when you complete your Licensing Agreement.
 
Official Logo Pack Now Included! To help you promote your show, Stage Rights now includes a logo pack with your license. The logo pack includes high resolution versions (both color and black and white) of our show logo. The logo is the portion of the artwork with the title of the show. The surrounding artwork is also available for an additional fee.
 
Optional Materials:
 
Stage Manager’s Script – Printed on standard 8.5” x 11” 3-hole-punched paper, with the same page numbers and text as the Printed Production Scripts, but with more space on the page for notes and cues.

GALLERY

 

VIDEO


Miss Abigail's Guide Promo