Are We There Yet?


Are We There Yet
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Are We There Yet? is a roller coaster ride through the lives of modern American families. This merry musical romp includes everything from hysterical family car trips and mothers praying for hits at their sons’ baseball games, to fathers sitting through ballet lessons and the joy of sex after 60. This lively musical portrays the love and challenges of the old adage, “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.” One thing is for sure, you will definitely relate to this family musical and enjoy the ride!


Act I

Are We There Yet? is an evening of vignettes depicting the modern family. Our show opens with our four actors dressed as a typical family. Each takes their place in the car, ready to head out on vacation. (“Are We There Yet?”) One at a time, each stands and tells a joke about being part of a family. Finally they all agree "there is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” “Inutero Interview” is a spoof on the difficulties of getting your child into a private school. A pregnant couple enters for an interview and are shocked when the principal insists on evaluating their baby while it is still in the womb! In “No Turning Back,” a mother brings her baby home and contemplates how her life will never be the same. When she leaves the room, the bassinet breaks open and a hilarious full-size baby comes out complete with diaper and rattle and raps “Baby Rap,” claiming how he is going to change his parents' lives… for good! In “Waiting for Jenny,” a father waits for his daughter to appear in her dance recital. He goes through the list of all the other things he’d rather be doing today! And then it happens… his daughter steps on stage in a tutu and he suddenly turns into one of those obnoxious gushing parents he’s always made fun of! In “Batting Zero,” we watch a woman go from, "Oh, I know nothing about sports," to bargaining with God to let him a home run. “Coach Bob” is a beautiful song about the influence teachers and adults have on our lives. “'Cause I’m a Mommy” is a homage to the song "'Cause I’m a Woman" where a typical mother goes through EVERYTHING she has to do to get through the day! She is a powerhouse! With “Dad’s First Prom,” we watch a father manipulate a young man who has come to take his daughter to prom. He actually convinces the young man that he works for NASA and has inserted a camera in the boy’s drink! “Cha-Ching!” pokes fun at how some parents want to buy their kids everything while some kids see their parents as nothing but a money tree – Cha Ching!

Act II

(“Your Parents Push Your Buttons ‘Cause They Put ‘em There”) The title says it all! No matter how old you get, your parents still have the power to push your buttons! In “Whiplash” we watch two people meet on a blind date. They meet at the county fair and take a ride on the roller coaster and sing their inner thoughts and fears of meeting someone a bit later in life. (“Bailey’s College Fund”) A woman admits how much she loves her dog! When she was sick, did her kids come and visit? No! But Bailey sat next to her bed the entire time! (“Giving Her Away”) We watch the father of the bride have a breakdown, telling us what it’s like to give away his only daughter. (“What Happened To The Good Old Days”) Grandma lets us know how she feels about becoming a full time babysitter! (“Audrey, Jr.”) A woman doesn’t look forward to telling her husband that their gay son is adopting a baby. In this touching monologue, she admits that she thought the news would break up her family… but it only made them stronger. (“Bernie’s Buffet”) in vaudeville form, this octogenarian admits that moving to Boca was the best decision he ever made. The women outnumber the men ten to one! He can take his pick! (“I Know She’s Out There”) A mother who put her daughter up for adoption and a young girl looking for her biological mother meet online. This song demonstrates how technology can change our lives. (“Inheriting Laura”) A man who is part of a case study uses his sense of humor to deflect his fears of inheriting his mother’s illness. With “Movers and Shakers,” we meet a very funny older couple who are preparing to move. They wait for their children to come drive them down to Florida where they plan on retiring. All four get in the car— parents and grandparents. They look strangely like the four characters we met at the top of the show— Ah the cycle of the family! Nothing else to do but “Enjoy The Ride.”


Every scene reminded me of my family. Only it’s a whole lot funnier on stage!

–New York Press

Characters and Vocal Ranges:

Man 1 (Dad) – Baritone A2 - G4

Man 2 (Son) – Tenor A2 - G# 4

Woman 1 (Mom) – Soprano E3 - F5

Woman 2 (Daughter) – Alto C3 - E5

Note: All performers play a wide range of characters so they should be strong actor singers with a great sense of comedy.

Except for the opening and closing, the scenes introduce new characters so the cast can be expanded.

Setting: Colorful, childlike cubes of different sizes that become all the smaller practical scenic elements throughout the show.

  1. Are we There Yet?
  2. Transition
  3. Inutero Interview
  4. No Turning Back
  5. Baby Rap
  6. Waiting for Jennie
  7. Batting Zero Woman
  8. Coach Bob
  9. 'Cause I'm a Mommy
  10. Dad’s First Prom
  11. Cha-Ching
  12. Your Parents Push Your Buttons
  13. Transition – Kissin’ Cousin
  14. Whiplash
  15. Bailey’s College Fund
  16. Giving Her Away
  17. Transition
  18. Transition
  19. I Deserve It
  20. What Happened To The Good Old Days?
  21. Audrey, Jr.
  22. I Know She’s Out There
  23. Bernie's Buffet
  24. Inheriting Laura
  25. Enjoy The Ride
  26. Movers and Shakers

Are We There Yet? is licensed by Stage Rights through the courtesy of Miracle or 2 Productions.

Performance Royalties are based on theater particulars. Please fill out an application for a personalized quote.

Billing responsibilities, pertinent copyright information, and playwrights' biographies are available in the show rider that comes with your license agreement.

“Hilarious! A fresh, rib-tickling, heart-touching romp! You’ll leave the theater humming and feeling better about being human!” –The Wichita Eagle

"Are We There Yet? ranges from silly to touching as they explore the speed bumps, potholes and occasional smooth-sailing pleasures of family life." –Sun-Sentinel, Fort Lauderdale

"If you liked I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change and its look at dating and modern romantic relationships, you'll also like Are We There Yet? and its look at the modern American nuclear family." –Talkin’ Broadway

“Every conceivable experience a family undergoes is hilariously and contemplatively brought to life in Are We There Yet?” –The Winchester Star

"You could call it the parents' edition of I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change! Are We There Yet? hits a lot of home runs for suburban moms and pops who know the drill!” –Dallas Morning News

"Therapy, set to music— What's not to like about that? …This delightful journey down the road of life hits all the highlights, from senior prom, to childbirth, blind dates, empty nests, aging parents, and what it really means to be a family …With something for everyone, Are We There Yet? is a ride worth taking." –The Daily Pantagraph, Bloomington, IL

Materials: Digital Materials are provided via email as downloadable PDF files for you to print in-house. All materials are yours to keep! No deposits, no returns.

Required Production Materials for Are We There Yet? :

  • Cast Scripts
  • Vocal Books
  • Director's Script
  • Stage Manager's Script
  • Orchestrations
  • Piano/Vocal Score


  • Piano
  • Bass
  • Drums